Caitlin and Alan visit Inspector Barnes house, and get schooled in English poetry. Lucy dishes about Lockwood to her bestie- Skull. Barnes warns the agency to follow the rules or end up like Bunchurch. George presents his evidence for how The Problem started to the rest of the company.

Caitlin and Alan try our skills on the trapeze- and mostly successfully land! La Belle Dame is finally trapped while we talk horror tropes, how emotionally well-balanced characters are boring, and if this ghost matters to the plot of the book.

Caitlin and Alan go to the graveyard. We found the titular Empty Grave! Take a burning car ride towards inevitable death and then grab a cup of ectoplasm. Lockwood shares the resting place of his family, Skull shares the meaning of the afterlife, and we discuss George’s autism.

Caitlin and Alan talk about the French language and political problems in dystopias. Fictional dystopias… mostly. Lockwood and Co get a new client and we learn about the new normal at 35 Portland Row. We try to figure out how Skull can talk in the sunlight, and why Mr Tufnell feels so slimy.

Caitlin and Alan kick off the final book of Lockwood and Co “The Empty Grave” by Jonathan Stroud! We talk about traps in monuments, the fate of the royal family during the problem, and how great it is to read a finale WITHOUT interpersonal drama among the heroes.

Caitlin and Alan put on their Ghost CSI Monster INC suits and finish The Creeping Shadow! We wish Carlyle and Skull would happen, but we are grateful Lockwood and Co is back. We debate who the unexpected visitor is, ponder how old the protagonists of another Jonathan Stroud series are, and have a flashback to the Lockwood and Co TV show.

Caitlin and Alan finish Part Five: The Iron Chain of The Creeping Shadow by Jonathan Stroud. We talk about horror movies, the big Locklye moment in the spirit cape, and the reasons we didn’t become mad scientists. Throw some bombs randomly and join us in burning the place down.

Caitlin and Alan pull off a heist. OK maybe we don’t exactly pull it off. And by heist we mean- do a podcast about a book. But we do manage to discuss how Kipps has been sworn into all the secrets, Lucy wants ghost experiments to stop, and Lockwood can’t be stopped. Confessions are made, spirit cloaks are worn, and portals are entered.

Caitlin and Alan put on some goggles to see ghosts, then smash a matchstick ship model, and meet with a captain of industry. There is a lot of energy flying around… and it is compensating for- something. We get deep about possible time travel, but make time for ghost lore.

Caitlin and Alan take a trip to the country in Part 4 of The Creeping Shadow. We lean against the table in a leaderish way to explain why Penelope’s offer is insulting. Kipps joins the crew while everyone takes a trip to the countryside.

Caitlin and Alan descend into the London Underground and find Skull! Instead we find out just how useful those Spirit Capes are. We debate the meaning of pudding, the proper use of “tube,” and if a woman’s bathroom has less dignity than other rooms.

Caitlin and Alan find Portland Row has changed. Lucy’s room has George’s clothes everywhere, Lockwood wants Lucy to explore Jessica’s forbidden room, and the first Type Two we met is now named Abigail Ward. Errr actually no. No she is not. We also learn that being 40 is ancient and obviously it is good that Lockwood is opening up to Holly. Obviously.

Caitlin and Alan talk about mystery stories as Carlyle and Skull get very hardboiled. Grab a jacket potato and join the hunt for Skull’s kidnappers. We case the meeting place and get into a foot chase- well Lucy did because we don’t have the energy for all that. At least we get to return to 35 Portland Row.

Caitlin and Alan try to figure out why Penelope sent Quill Kipps on this case, why Lucy needs to be here, and if the Ealing Cannibal only had one victim. Take a tour of the house with us as we try to find the Source. Please not all the unique amenities like grease stained walls, human stew on the gas stove, and the human pool in the basement.

Caitlin and Alan have an important meeting with top officials. And by that we mean Flo Bones- but Barnes and Fittes made an appearance. We answer the age-old question- Is Connecticut more relatable than England? And we talk about Lockwood and Co sometimes.

Caitlin and Alan finish Part One of The Creeping Shadow. We try to figure out how Harold runs his illicit operation. We discuss the metaphysics and ethics of burning Sources. But mostly we stand at the door- stunned and scratching our butts- when Anthony Lockwood comes calling.

Caitlin and Alan look in a mirror to start reading The Creeping Shadow by Jonathan Stroud. We debate the nature of time, the mummification of severed heads (hey it’s an honest living!), and how infuriating the concept of demerits is. Lucy and Skull are in business for themselves, but life is hard without Lockwood and Co.

Caitlin and Alan meet the Hollow Boy and finish the third Lockwood and Co book! Light a candle, get a concussion, and worry if your crush is dead. Actually don’t worry. Come off it. You know they would die for you. Warning that at the end of the podcast, one of the hosts quits the show! (not really)

Caitlin and Alan finish Part Five: Dark Hearts of The Hollow Boy. Grab and egg whisk and watch out for elevator shafts, because it’s finally time for Holly and Lucy to fight! Who is the most patronizing? What is the best kitchenware for murder?

Caitlin and Alan weigh in on the greatest debate in history: Should the English name chocolate chip cookies, chocolate chip biscuits? Also George reveals the true center of the Chelsea Outbreak. Come sit in the plague pit garden with us, as we ponder if a Fetch walks on all fours.